~Beyond Overdue~

It has been nearly two months since I last wrote a post and even before that I know that they were far and in between. I have been debating for a long time whether or not I want to even keep my blog anymore. The way life has been this past year I don't want this blog to become a place where all I do is complain about our hardships. With all the hardships that have happened and are still happening, it makes it hard for me to want to blog. The amount of times that I have sat at this computer, logged onto my typepad account and clicked on "Create A New Post" and then done nothing...you would be surprised! My only real motivation is not deleting this blog is the fact that I know my family in England read this (Hi Jan!) and I know this is a huge way of keeping in touch with everything going on in our lives. Needless to say, I am feeling rather torn at the moment about what I really want to do. But since I am posting, I might as well update you all on what has happened in the last few months.

Back in November, I celebrated my 27th birthday! There is a big OMG for you! 27?!? Where has the time gone? I feel like high school was 5 minutes ago and here I am sitting three years shy of 30! Holy Crap! Now I know im starting to get old! Anyway, this was probably one of the best birthday's I have had in a while. At midnight on my birthday, Darren let me open my presents. I have never done that before, opened a present at midnight of the date. It was quite fun! As always he spoiled me rotten and gave me several wonderful gifts including a beautiful necklace that I adore! We were then supposed to go to this restaurant called The Stinking Rose with some friends so celebrate. I have wanted to go there for years, but all the really bad fires started and they shut down nearly every freeway around us so I had to cancel our reservation and with everyones schedule I couldn't reschedule, so maybe next year :) But I did have a great time with my family. We had dinner at my parents for my "family" birthday dinner and it was so much fun. I honestly got everything I wanted this year. So much so, I had nothing that I wanted for Christmas hahah. Darren thought it would be funny to play a trick on my family and draw a black eye on him to look like I hit him. Before the family dinner my mom had called and I made it soundl ike Darren and I were in a fight and when we showed up....no one believed it except for my sister ahaha! They all said they could never picture me hitting or hurting anyone lol so it didn't work, but it was a good try and a lot of fun doing it! Besides I thought I did a good job at making his black eye look quite real! What do you think?

              

After my birthday, next on the list was Thanksgiving which we had at my parents house. Man it was good! We ate tons of amazing food, shared stories and memories which is one of my favorite parts about getting together with family, and then we played some games and had a blast. I love spending time with my family. They are the greatest people and I always have so much fun when I am with them!

A few days before Thanksgiving we get a call from Darren's surgeons office letting us know that his surgery was scheduled for the 1st of December. This completely caught us off guard especially because it was literally one week away from that very phone call. So we went full speed straight ahead. We had all the pre-op appointments to take care of and trying to get his family to fly out and work out a schedule for them. That last week was one the intense side but we made it and his family (mom, sister and her two kids) ended up flying out two days before the surgery.

It was a little on the hectic side to mentally prepare yourself for 4 guests to be staying at your one bedroom apartment while your husband gets ready for major major surgery. We had been waiting for this day to come for so long and couldn't believe it was finally here. Our life has felt like non stop doctors appointments and emergency room visits and this surgery could mean the end to all of this. At the same time there were such high risks going in to this surgery but we knew that God had it all worked out and knew that He was doing even if we didn't know it yet. So we took a deep breath, picked up his family at LAX and off we were to the hospital.

                

Thankfully surgery went well little complications and thankfully I had my mother in law, Wendy with me during the wait. Having her there made it so much better, I had someone to talk with, walk around with and someone to keep my mind off all the "what if's" She was great!

Darren came home the day after his surgery which surprised me but I guess these days they want you in and out. Thankfully his family was there so I didn't have to miss too much work and I knew that was looked after. So while I was at work, Wendy looked after him and Rochelle and this kids had tons of fun with our dog Daisy. They took her for walks, they would ride our bikes and have Daisy chase after her! They loved it and Daisy really LOVED it. On the weekends we tried to go and do things since they did fly all the way from England :) So we went to the Aquarium of the Pacific, Magic Mountain, Beverly Hills, San Diego and I think thats it on all thebig stuff. They came to work with me a few times and had a blast. All in all it was a great trip. The two weeks they were here flew by so fast. We ended up having our own "Christmas Day" with them. Opened presents in the morning, cooked a turkey with all the trimmings, had my family over, played a harsh game of Monopoly and had a lot of fun. I was really sad when the two weeks were over and it was time for them to get home. You get used to the noise in your house and when its gone and it feels so quiet, its strange, its even sad. But we can look back at all the fun times we had together and that is the best part.

Since they left it was crunch time to get things ready for Christmas. Last minute shopping, cleaning and laundry, looking after Darren by myself (had to get used to that haha) and finishing one week left of work before my three weeks off. I made it through work and made it to Christmas. At midnight on Christmas morning, Darren and I decided to open our presents. Again, never done this before but it was so much fun. We both loved our gifts and we were off to bed for a nice sleep in. Woke up later that morning and I made a yummy breakfast, we layed around for a bit drinking our coffee, still in our pj's, making phone calls to England while listening to Christmas music in the background, it was perfect and so relaxing. Then we got ready, packed up our gifts for my family as well as a few other things and headed over to my parents. Did our gift exchange, cooked and got the dinner and desserts all ready and then sat down for a very yummy dinner and a relaxing evening of just lounging on the couches chit-chatting. It was perfect. It was the relaxing Christmas I had been looking forward to all year. 

And now New Years is approaching. I can't believe it. I can't believe it has been a whole year already and everything that we have gone through. I still have to say that this year was the hardest year I have ever gone through in my entire life. It felt like every month was a big challenge. And it changes you, changes your priorities, your views, yourself, everything. I am not the person I was a year ago, thats for sure. I think I have done a lot of growing up and made a lot of realizations about myself that have been for the good. I personally feel I have gone through what no young married couple should have to go through weather you don't have kids of do have kids already. What Darren and I have been through is what you would expect to go through once you are old and have kids that now have grandkids who are starting to have kids lol, not this young and not this frequent. And the hard part is, no one really understands. Unless you have been through what we have, you wouldn't get it and that makes it hard because people say they know what you mean or refer to something they have been through in their own personal life, but its different and sometimes it makes it hard to talk about. But through everything, it has made us stronger individuals and stronger as husband and wife. Darren and I, we are a strong team, an even stronger unit. God has put us through so many challenges and hardships and through it all we have only learned to trust him more and lean on his strength when we have had none. And through it all, He has been faithful and seen us through. 

I know our struggles aren't over yet, and probably will never be over, but if we can get through a year of hell like we just did, then we can get through anything! 

Ok, I think I made this blog long enough now, haha. Its funny how you don't think you will write much but when you start you find yourself unable to stop. I hope this is satisfying enough as an update and I hope this put into perspective why I am the way I am sometimes, as well as why I struggle with wanting to keep this blog. 

I hope everyone had the very merriest of Christmas and I wish everyone a Happy and safe New Year! 

Comments

[Nat]

Our pastor had an interesting message just yesterday... brought up the nativity scene and the characters in it... decided to discuss the star. This last year was hard. Hard for a lot of people, harder then they've experienced in a long time.. if at all ever. I'm at a loss of words since this year was hard for myself and I'm still trying to catch my breath.

But back to the star, brings light, a glimmer of hope, a new perspective to the situation. Without saying it in so many words, you have a tenacious ability to grasp onto hope. You embrace the new and enjoy life.

My opinion, keep the blog. :-) Even in the hard times, you thank God for the strength you've endured. You exude joy in ways touch people's lives (at least in mine) . I think its great having a record to look back upon, proof you were able to sustain your ground... that you were strong. You are strong and amazing and I'm so glad you have found so many opportunities to grasp on the better things in life! :-)

That's all.. my 2 cents are more like 50 now... oh well :-)

[cynthia newbern]

I read it,I read it!!! Pls dont stop. I enjoy you blogging. although Im not doing such a good job at mine but I love to read yours. I miss you guys and I hope that I get to see you and Darren more often this year!!

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